August 4, 1980

August 4, 1980 - 2pm. The day my mom gave birth to a healthy baby girl. She named her Vanessa. So happy. My mom gave birth at her own room in our province in Pangasinan. With the help of my Nanay (my grandmother) and a komadrona. No anesthesia, no operating room. My dad was holding my mom's hands and soon they heard me crying already. According to them, that was one of their precious moments together.


I grew up with my Nanay. I stayed in the province until I reached 6yrs old. My mom was in Manila, working. My dad was an OFW in Saudi Arabia that time. I grew up in a quiet and peaceful province. I can still remember when the times I go around our barrio with Nanay. She, holding a basket full of puto and kakanin which she made herself and sell them to our neighbors. We will walk all day. Me, holding at the side of her skirt. She, with her basket in her head. I didn't know that I was working at that early age. All I know was after we sell all the puto and kakanin, we will have to fetch my Tatay (grandfather) in our rice fields so we can all go home together. I always ask my Nanay how many more we have to sell because I am so excited to see our carabao and ride on his back with Tatay. It was funny, because me and Tatay will be going home riding our carabao but Nanay will ride the wooden thingy that the carabao is pulling. When we're home, Nanay will prepare dinner. Then we'll eat. Then sleep when it's already 6pm. Yes! 6pm. This is everyday. I can see a clear picture of a happy family.


When I reached 6yrs old, time for me to go to school. My mom got me and brought me to Manila. It was sad. I saw my Nanay crying. I saw my Tatay just sitting by the window and not saying anything. I was excited. I was excited to see Manila for the first time. I didn't know that it will take a long time before I go back to the province. I thought, it will be just a day or two and then I'll be back.


When I got to Manila, I started making friends. With our neighbors, my classmates. I grew up basically alone. My dad was still an OFW and my mom is working. She would just leave my uniform in the closet in where I can reach them and my food in the table. So I can eat before I go to school. Yes, I go to school alone.


Nanay and Tatay would usually visits Manila to see me. That was when their body can still take the hassles of traveling 4hrs on a bus. Not long enough, they got old and sick. My Tatay passed away with an illness. Then 2yrs after, Nanay passed away due to her weak heart. Sad. I was heart broken. I love them. Very much. I can remember, I even loved them more than my own parents (when I was a child).


Then I went to college. Took up Computer Engineering course in one of the well-known computer universities in Manila. This is where I learned how to live my life. I learned to drink alcohol, attend parties like there'll be no tomorrow. I hated my dad during these times. He was still an OFW and for 2yrs, we didn't get anything from him. No news from him. No calls, no letters, he's not sending money for our expenses anymore. We we're so worried. To support my needs, I worked as a service crew in a fast food chain. Fair enough, I was able to buy all the things I want.


After 2yrs, we got a letter from him. Saying he's sorry for what happened. He said that he was prisoned for 2yrs for gambling. Gambling?! Yes, gambling. I knew it. That is why the money he's sending to us before is not even enough for my school needs, because he's wasting his money in gambling. Geesh! I was mad. I saw my mom worked her ass off just to provide all the things I need when my dad was missing in action. I saw her heart broke when she was crying everytime she remembers that her husband abandoned us.


I graduated in college. Worked in different call centers already. Now, I am managing people, motivating people. 30yrs after my mom gave birth, I can say, I already accomplished half of the things I wanna do in life. I know, I'm a bit slow. Let's just say, I am just enjoying my life. I am now married to a wonderful man. We are just waiting for the blessings of having our own little angel..


This is my life. 30yrs before and after. August 4, 2010. My wish for my birthday, is continous happiness, more blessings and healthy family. Happy birthday to me.